Sometimes my own anxiety will just dissipate me.
I sit on my bed, and my thoughts, and feelings and everything around me is in my head. I just sit and think about every little thing. The consequences of everything, the future, and my future. Its not useful thinking. Or positive, where I can sit and smile and contemplate solutions to my problems. This is the time where all of my irrational decisions and thoughts are processed. I have so little to do, I can sit and make a whole number of irrational but belieavable thoughts and pursuade myself that this is the way things will turn out, and that I have to get myself ready for the worst. My thinking deteriorates into complete irrationality. I make myself so certain I know what Im talking about and I hate it.